The Consolation of Art

For the whole holidays, I've been feeling like I almost have a cold.  Today, it hit.  Which was especially mean, as I was looking forward to some auntie time.  With my ears producing dizziness, blocked-up feelings and pain, I wasn't going to be doing any musical activities.  I thought about doing some paper craft things, but I've been feeling like painting for a little while - especially since watching Frida.  Now, there's a massive square canvas that has been sitting behind the keyboard for some time, and a few students have asked when I will finally paint it, and some friends have commented impatiently also.  But there are 3 canvases I've had for even longer that I thought should be dealt with first.  I had a fiddle around with dimensions and ideas, and then I started painting. 

In the process of inspiration, I turned to the creative site, Redbubble.  I joined it by accident last year and, after spending many hours trawling beautiful images, I now only stop by occasionally.  After looking at a few beautiful images today, I decided to add 3 new photos to my portfolio.  Anyway, I found an artist with paintings that made me want to create something similar, and I started painting.  Of course, as soon as the paint started moving on the canvas, my ideas of what should take shape changed immediately.  Partly, I think, because one of the images I uploaded was from Mt Isa, and the blue seemed to be the same sky blue. 

This painting will replace another largely-blue work, at the top of the stairs.  I think.  At present, that area looks like this:

One of the challenges of this canvas is the dimensions: 15x60 inches.  Most of the ideas I've had look screwy in this dimension, and this is the first time I've attempted this. 

Another challenge today was the paint supply.  Once I knew this was an outback Australian sky I was painting, I wanted to do the ochre of the landscape.  Problem: no large supply of yellow paint, and only small shots of yellow ochre.  Solution:  use up the last of the true red, mixed with green.  Weird, but I'm more pleased with the result than I expected.

So far, it looks like this:

I know it needs a little something, and at this stage I often freeze, not wanting to stuff it up.  I foresee a trip to the paint store so I have plenty of supplies with which to paint over mistakes (or, experiments that don't cut it).  My idea for the middle is looking less and less likely...

Today's photo:

Similar to yesterday's... but this time with sunlight.  We had a few hours of not-totally-overcast in the middle of the day, and the light caught the raindrops like crystals.

Movie #1

After watching Amelie on Tuesday, I got the movie bug.  As the weather was still rainy, I didn't want to spend too long choosing something at Video Ezy.  In a mood for art house, but hopefully not too serious, as soon as I spied Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I picked it up.  This is a movie I haven't seen but I think most people would assume that I had seen it.

Wednesday night, I watched it.  I don't necessarily agree with the comment on the front cover - "A smart, sexy and seriously funny comedy!" (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone).  There were parts that made me laugh, some cry, reflect, turn all nostalgic... But most of all, it made me think.  A lot.

What would I choose to erase?  Is there anything from certain relationships that I would want to keep?  Curiously, I decided I didn't want to erase any of the more traumatic relationships, but what I think of as the best (in that, they were least damaging and psychologically screwy), I had no problem removing from my brain.  After pondering this for a while, my subconscious went to work overnight.  When I awoke, I realised the movie's subtle point: we can only learn from our mistakes if we can remember our mistakes.  Which is why I didn't want to erase the bad stuff, and why I shouldn't want to erase the less traumatic relationships.  Long ago I had realised that, although the bad stuff was uncomfortable and hurtful at the time, it's made me more understanding of others, and less judgmental.  As for the less traumatic stuff - who wants to spend years repeating stupid mistakes?  Not me.

Visually, I appreciated the starkness of the 'erased' bits - Montauk, the frozen lake, the train trip, the snow.  The possibility that comes with the absence of busyness.  It had me wanting to go to North America and take photos of white landscapes.