Peach

I'm not sure if I should admit this.  I mean, it's one thing to just not buy them.  My absolute closest friends know.  Here it is: I don't like fresh peaches. 

I tried, I really did.  My mum developed an allergy to them before I was born, so I didn't grow up eating them.  When I left home, I'd buy them...eat one...erk.  So I stopped wasting my money, and I'd leave them in the shops for more appreciative consumers.

Now I have my fruit and vegetables delivered (organic, easy, wonderful).  If peaches are in the set box, I choose something else.  The last delivery, however, included them anyway.  I contemplated offloading them to those close friends who know my secret - but thought, maybe the organic peaches will be different.  These have lasted wonderfully well - the delivery was 12 days ago and they are largely unblemished. 

This afternoon, I ate one.  It won't be my last.  I'd still rather have a yellow-flesh nectarine, or a peach without the skin.  But it wasn't wasted, it was enjoyed.  Maybe there's hope for me after all.

Outfit #2

I wasn't expecting this to be a flashing outfit.  When I tried on the skirt, I thought it was a perfect work skirt.  Just below the knee, straight, not totally boring.  I didn't notice the attachment of the 2 front parts, which have nothing to hold them together past the middle of the thigh.  As soon as I sat down on the train, I found myself pulling bits of my skirt across my knees. 

 I stand a lot during my work, but I don't want to tower over my little people - oh, hello knee.  The most drastic time though was coming home, walking in a breeze.  I even saw an elderly lady from church drive past...she didn't wave...

I was expecting hot weather, high possibility of rain, and a fire drill (which means heels are not a good idea, I have discovered).  This outfit - apart from the unexpectedly leggy skirt - was perfect.  Cool, moveable, not too long (I dislike long things in the rain), flat shoes for the fire drill on the oval.

Skirt: Sussan (op shop).  Blouse: Jacqui E (op shop). Shoes: Pulp. Earrings: ? Necklace: made by me.

Movie #2

The second movie I picked up last Tuesday was Doubt, which I watched last night.  My brain has been chasing itself in circles all day as a consequence.  (It was also rather reminiscent of a board game I played recently, called 'Scruples' - in this morally grey situation, what would you do?). 

Although it is set in the early 1960s, the situation is not exclusive to that time - as Meryl Streep says, "There is nothing new under the sun".  People are still doubting the character of others, children are still bullying each other, we are still eating the forbidden fruit.  And then lying about it.

However, actions speak louder than words.  In the Catholic parochial school context of the movie, isn't it better to be kind, as Sister James is to all her students (and everyone, for that matter), and as Father Flynn is towards Donald Miller?  Donald speaks highly of Father Flynn, and it is clear the priest is the only one who makes this 12-yr-old black gay boy feel like a worthy human being.

At this point in my musings, I think Sister Aloysius must have it wrong, she must be the dragon in all this (and Meryl Streep does Dragon Lady so fabulously well).  Yet.  No matter how much we hope to be living in a world of rainbows and soft kittens, the reality is grittier.  Not everyone adheres to the same rules.  Some people think the rules are more like guidelines.  Humans are human, flawed, imperfect.  And as a principal of a school, Sister Aloysius has a duty of care towards the children.  If she is too quick to believe the explanation of a suspected misdeed, she might be turning her back on the welfare of a child.  We'd all like our parish priests to be saint-like, but what if that's not the case?  What if there was more to the explanation, more that wouldn't be looked upon kindly, that would be evidence of wrong-doing?  Surely, then, Sister Aloysius is in the right...?  Better to have a priest of suspect morals removed, rather than always be wondering if there's something wrong and damaging going on behind closed doors.  In the end, though, it is evident she is wracked with doubts, the poison of leading a suspicious life.

The contrasts in this film I find interesting.  The suspected priest acts always in a Christian manner (kind, loving, protecting); the nun set on proving his guilt 'steps away from God in the pursuit of wrongdoing' (a line said near the beginning and repeated at the end of the movie), and she even lies - an admission the naive Sister James finds horrifying.  The nuns eat in silence; the men eat merrily, joking and laughing.  Dragon lady forbids ball point pens ("Every easy choice today has its consequence tomorrow"); Father Flynn wants a secular song included in the Christmas pageant - maybe Frosty the Snowman (gold!).

What would I want, if I were a parent of a child in this school?  Someone suspicious and fear-inspiring, who will nevertheless be on the lookout for anything harmful to my child?  Or someone who will act with kindness, maybe 'take a special interest'? Not having any children, that's really a hypothetical situation.  I know that children need boundaries and structure; I know that children need kindness.

Wardrobe Reorganisation Part 2

As promised earlier, there was a second, just as drastic, change to the wardrobe reorganisation.  After moving the chest of drawers down to the living room, I now had the space to install these hanging thingies.  They are *so* good.   The previous arrangement had everything now in the hanging things folded on the shelves (to the left, not pictured).  Which was ok... Except I only ever used the top few layers of clothes.  And it was hard to find anything not at the front. 

Now, though.... ah, bliss.  Surprisingly, it is much easier to put away my clothes.  Not surprisingly, it is much, much easier to find anything.  I'm not sure how I'll go when the cooler months arrive as I'll need space for bulkier clothes, but I'll sort out something then.


The main impetus for change was accessories.  I eventually found this hanger, intended for pants, which is perfect.  I can display all my necklaces (except for pearls), I can access them easily, I can see them easily.  Next step is to arrange them by colour, of course.

Not pictured are the shelves to the left.  Jeans, shorts, and workout gear occupy the lower 2 shelves, earrings and more delicate necklaces on the top.  The ease of finding workout gear is an unexpected joy.  Instead of searching through a jumble of stuff to find everything required, now I only need to look there to see an item in each pile, and search the laundry for any missing items.  So much time saved!  I am slowly becoming a convert to organised space.  Which doesn't really gel with the OCD compulsion I have, but I just didn't have anything in place before.  Now, though...

Outfit #1

 So, very bravely, I reveal my first school outfit... As this was only a meeting, I dressed more casually than I would for school.  Plus, it continues to rain.  I don't want to ruin any shoes!  When I was about to take photos, I realised I very almost matched a painting - I was missing something green, but had blue, red, and black and white stripes. 

I found it exceedingly hard to take outfit photos.  Aside from getting feet and head in the frame, facial expression and enough of the front that you can see details proved problematic.  Hence the small photos. 

Dress: Ally (used to be Jeannie's).  Singlet: Ice.  Sandals: Hot Options (emergency purchase).  Earrings: Mombasa.  Pendant: made by Jeannie.  Zebra-print umbrella: no idea.

Inspiration

I teach violin, and some of the my students are highly entertaining.  One in particular.  She's ten, and I've taught her since she was five.  As I've taken her back to class over the years she's developed a little alternate universe for me (in which I have 5 husbands - a story for another day), and she'll also tell me what my clothes look like.  It started with a skirt that had flowers around the border, so that looked like a garden.  Rose earrings look like flowers.  Striped pants might be a road.  For most of last year, the commentary would go something like this:

"Your skirt is a garden, your top is a storm cloud, your shoes are raindrops, and your earrings are leaves".  (Obviously, you have to use your imagination).  After a while, I said they were all the same, she wasn't using much imagination at all.  I received one of those withering 10-yr-old girl looks in return, and the comment "Maybe if you wore different things..."

I admit, I like to wear black, and I don't like to iron.  But one of my challenges for this year is to wear a different outfit each time I go to school. 

Movie #1

After watching Amelie on Tuesday, I got the movie bug.  As the weather was still rainy, I didn't want to spend too long choosing something at Video Ezy.  In a mood for art house, but hopefully not too serious, as soon as I spied Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I picked it up.  This is a movie I haven't seen but I think most people would assume that I had seen it.

Wednesday night, I watched it.  I don't necessarily agree with the comment on the front cover - "A smart, sexy and seriously funny comedy!" (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone).  There were parts that made me laugh, some cry, reflect, turn all nostalgic... But most of all, it made me think.  A lot.

What would I choose to erase?  Is there anything from certain relationships that I would want to keep?  Curiously, I decided I didn't want to erase any of the more traumatic relationships, but what I think of as the best (in that, they were least damaging and psychologically screwy), I had no problem removing from my brain.  After pondering this for a while, my subconscious went to work overnight.  When I awoke, I realised the movie's subtle point: we can only learn from our mistakes if we can remember our mistakes.  Which is why I didn't want to erase the bad stuff, and why I shouldn't want to erase the less traumatic relationships.  Long ago I had realised that, although the bad stuff was uncomfortable and hurtful at the time, it's made me more understanding of others, and less judgmental.  As for the less traumatic stuff - who wants to spend years repeating stupid mistakes?  Not me.

Visually, I appreciated the starkness of the 'erased' bits - Montauk, the frozen lake, the train trip, the snow.  The possibility that comes with the absence of busyness.  It had me wanting to go to North America and take photos of white landscapes.

Wednesday January 25 - Banana Smoothie

I have a lot of milk to get through.  I had one more banana that was getting to the 'very ripe' stage.  Result: banana smoothie for breakfast.

Recipe: 1/2 cup milk, 1/4 cup yoghurt, 1 quite ripe banana, 1 tablespoon protein powder, 1 tablespoon psyllium husks.  Blend.  Result:  quite yummy.

I adhere as much as possible to the zone diet, so added a teaspoon of peanut butter on the side.  (I was tempted to mix the peanut butter with all the other ingredients like Joon in Benny and Joon, but resisted).  It still didn't feel like I'd had a proper breakfast, but coffee afterwards helped of course.  I wasn't hungry again for more than 4 hours so maybe it was just in my head.  The weather is still quite cool and rainy, but I think this could make it onto the hot weather breakfast options.

Tuesday January 24 - Plan B

I'd earmarked today as the last real day of holidays.  I didn't expect any students yesterday as it was the first day back (wrong! - the girl who comes straight after school showed up, very keen) and I don't have students at home on Tuesdays.  My plan was to go to New Farm and Teneriffe to take some photos, as it's been ages since I've taken photos artistically.  This was, incidentally, to be a Change...

The weather forecast heavy rain - but I didn't want to let the weather dictate what I do with my life, or I'd be a hermit.  Determined to carry through with my Plan A, I went to the gym first thing, despite the rain.  On the way home, I snapped these photos of local flooding.  It's a little hard to tell, but the water is over the footpath.  Turns out there was a lot of local flooding, and police were urging people to delay non-essential travel.

Plan B - pajama day.  I love wearing pajamas and do so as often as I can.  So after breakfast (back in pjs) I had a mini-nap, coffee at my brother's (not in pjs) then came home for a more substantial nap/sleep.  I usually reserve such decadence for when I'm sick, but with the rain this was the best way to spend a day.  After lunch I watched Amelie while making a dent in the substantial ironing pile, then started a button-sewing frenzy. 

It's been a really long time since I saw Amelie.  Checking Imdb afterwards to find other places I'd seen all those actors, I caught the movie bug and even braved the rain to go to the video store...but that's for a different blog post.

Saturday January 21 - Look At Me, Rex Banner

.... I have a new hat. 

This was a bit of an emergency buy, as my regular hat was in a friend's car - and quite grubby.  The other hats I have at home were feeling just a teensy bit small.

I have worn the same style hat for at least ten years: white, floppy, even I think mostly the same brand.  They seem to be gathering in odd places at home.  One is decidedly small as someone (not me) put it in the washing machine.  Another started off with black dots which then bled pink when washed.  It's not a baking hot, sunny summer, but with my skin I need some shade on top.

In the spirit of New, I did try some other style hats - straw, small brim... Totally not me.  Maybe by the end of the year I could try to pull it off but not just yet.

Thursday January 19 - Cello

I am a violinist.  I can also play the viola (although 'real' violists get a bit antsy when I tell them this as I've never had an actual viola lesson...).  My brother suggested I learn the cello from him.  I thought this would be easy. 

It wasn't. 

I'd already played Hot Cross Buns and Mary Had a Little Lamb on student instruments at school.  All the kids thought that was the coolest thing ever.  On a full-size cello though, it's so much harder.  The sound, the hand position - agh!  Now I know what total beginners go through. 

But, I took home this cello and it sounds marginally less horrible now.  I'm considering baking a batch of Apology Biscuits for my poor neighbours though.

Wednesday, January 18 - Just Go

I had to leave the house Wednesday afternoon.  I left with no actual plan of what I was going to do, where I was going to go, how I would get wherever I was going...  I figured I'd just missed the next train, so opted for a bus, then thought I'd see which bus came first and think about my options as I went.

The first bus would take me by South Bank, so I got off there (at the same time as Mary Poppins ended its matinee session - think swarms of happy pint-sized people), walked through the arbour, picked up a coffee at a deli, and continued walking to the Maritime Museum.  This photo is from there - I love the contrast of the grey storm clouds against the white bridge.  When the rain became more than just threatening I wandered back and went home.

Things to do better next time: remember ear phones.  An escape is better with music.
If it really looks like rain, forgo the water bottle for an umbrella (or use a bigger bag).
Anything else would really require forward planning so wouldn't qualify for a Just Go experience!

Tuesday January 17 - Banana Bread

I don't recall ever making banana bread before - definitely not this recipe!  Despite having to substitute dark brown sugar with raw caster sugar, and only having 3 small bananas instead of 3 large bananas, it was a success.  Yummy!

Thankfully my brother lives down the street, and my dad's been staying for a few days, so I haven't felt obligated to eat the whole lot myself.  Also thankfully, this morning I had a PT session so I won't feel guilty about having a slice today.

I used to make banana cake a fair bit (at least that's what my memory tells me), but with the high price of bananas after cyclones Larry and Yasi, they've been too much of a treat.  Yay for lower prices! 

Sunday January 15 - Breakfast Bowl

One of the small things... On Sunday morning I used a different breakfast bowl.  This one is fine, of course, and is in the same pattern as my normal breakfast bowl.  I normally use a round (picture half a hollow ball) bowl.  Did I notice much once I'd started eating?  No.

Wardrobe Reorganisation Part 1

This has been a huge change for me.  Previously, this chest of drawers was in my wardrobe.  For years.  Blouses and skirts could hang on the rail above, and earrings lived on top.  And, being a flat surface and out of sight, it was a magnet for junk.
But... being under the rail meant that I often knocked over the earring stand (disaster!) and it was hard to dust.  On top of all that, the living room is always chaotic when anyone stays as they have nowhere to store things.

So on New Year's Eve I went to Kmart to look for plants, and a hook for over a door (a bright idea for necklace storage).  I didn't buy any plants.  I didn't buy any hooks.  I did buy 2 hanging wardrobe storage things and 2 hanging shoe storage things.  I was thinking of doing before and after shots of the wardrobe, but the before state was just embarrassing, and I was so fed up with the way it was I couldn't wait to get stuck into change. 

It was still a week before the drawers made it downstairs to the living room.  And, at this stage, the drawers are not in their original order.  I need to clean them out so the original would be unnecessary, but it still throws me off when I'm looking for something and have to go through several drawers before I find The Right Drawer.

Saturday January 7 - Tea

Now really, how beautiful is this teacup and saucer?

I had been secretly covetous of these teacups when in T2, but didn't buy one as a) I couldn't decide on a colour (they're all so pretty) and b) it felt extravagant as I have plenty of vessels with which to drink tea.  But when it's a gift.... (thanks Thomas and co.!) problem solved :)

And it really makes such a difference to drink tea from something as beautiful as this.  Yes, it takes longer, but it is far more calming and beneficial to the soul than simply a teabag in a mug.

Summer School Shoes Week 1

One of the challenges I set myself for summer school (before I really grasped just how much work was involved) was to wear a different pair of shoes each day.  Success!

These are the shoes from the first week.  I think I need to find a replacement pair for the black - you can just see where the heel is wearing through.  The ivory and patent pair (thanks Jeannie!) are lovely, but very hot by the end of the day.

The red pair are possibly my current most-worn, but the white wedges and the stripey flats always receive oodles of compliments.

Thursday January 5 - Listening

I am not an aural person.  Musically, yes, but not for words.  Books on CD and talkback radio are at the top of my list of Worst Nightmare Activities.  Needless to say, in school I was not one to record classes or notes and listen to them in my sleep.  In the middle of last year though, I thought I'd give this 'learning by osmosis' thing a try, and have been listening to an Italian phrase CD as I go to sleep, which has yielded some results. 

Now, for summer school we were given a booklet of 24 children's songs to learn by the end of the 2nd week.  'Look through and I'm sure you'll recognise a lot of them' said our materials teacher.  I recognised one - Hot Cross Buns.  Slightly nervous, I then started to learn them, singing them and looking at them (being more of a visual/kinetic learner).  But with all the other singing I had to do, I didn't want to waste my voice on children's songs.  So Thursday night I recorded them onto my phone.  Then, whenever I had a spare moment (on the train, at lunch, at the gym), I was listening.  As I hadn't recorded them with the intention of being perfect, they really weren't - which was good to hear where I would need to be careful with pitch, but annoying otherwise. 

And it paid off - I made one stupid mistake in the written test (superfluous rest at the end of a piece) and got one note wrong in the singing test.  Happy.  Books on CD are still on the No list though.

Wednesday, January 4 - Talking to Strangers

I'm hoping this will not be the last Talking to Strangers.  Some people seem to find this easy, others not... Obviously, I fit well and truly in the latter.
Now, I tend to take people as they are.  I don't tend to notice if they are looking particularly gorgeous, although I might if they look exceptionally trashy.  If someone asks if I notice anything different, I usually have to guess (haircut/pierced ears etc) until I get it right.  But I do feel great when someone sees me and says, "Nice dress".  So I've started looking for potential compliments *before* it's a return compliment.  Then, at summer school in the first week, a lady was wearing a dress in one of my favourite blue shades and I said, without thinking, "Love your dress". 
Of course, once started, this is an easy one to continue, and I've since found several options for initial compliments. 

Only Two Eggs

One of my habits is to hard-boil four eggs on a Monday so I have easy protein for lunches and snacks through the week.  I made a cake recently though which reduced my egg numbers, so I only had two to work with tonight (even though it's Tuesday, I know...).  So my timing calculations went woefully off.  After cooling, I cracked the first egg, only to have it dribble out onto my fingers.  Not pleasant.  And, the worst time to figure out you haven't cooked an egg!  A bit of emergency, sloppy frying later, and I have a rather unappealing lunch for Wednesday.  Can't wait.

Shoes and Bag

Yesterday, I discovered that my bag for summer school was only just big enough.  Today, I had to go straight from Trainer Dan (*much* earlier than usual, I might add) to the school, so I needed a bag big enough for all my materials as well as gym clothes.  Luckily, my mum gave me a bag for Christmas.  It's not a bag I would ever have bought with my own initiative - very bright and floral.  For an even greater element of different, I wore one of my favourite pairs of shoes - white with blue checks. 

Having a PT session so early meant no breakfast beforehand (just some yoghurt).  Also for the first time (not sure it warrants its own blog post though) I took my violin to the gym, and got changed into normal clothes after the workout.  However, there was hardly any time after that to get into town and actually find something suitable to eat.  Result: coffee and raisin toast does not keep me going until after 1pm.  Headache, nausea, short-temper. 


Also, the lovely bag is big enough for all my (growing collection of) musical materials...but not grotty gym clothes and towel as well.  So, in future I'll be needing to have everything ready to go and have a very quick changeover. 

Summer School

January.  Big plans, small achievements.  But not this year!  All last year Jeannie was making me promise I would do summer school with her this year.  "Sure", I'd say... Screaming on the inside.  The thought of 2 weeks of my holidays taken up with assessment and being forced to interact with a bunch of people I don't know didn't fill me with joy. 
Yesterday's registration didn't really make me feel any better, especially as I found myself put in a class 2 levels higher than I wanted.  It's been a long time since I've made myself work this much.  This morning, I found I was still in Level 6 instead of the compromised Level 5 but our director was unflinching.  He thought he was being nice to me, letting me be in Level 6 instead of Level 7 or even 8.  But - he was right.  I didn't drown.  A lot of the material was revision and I could tell I wasn't at the bottom of the class. 
The string teaching programme is such a good environment, only 9 of us, supportive and useful materials.  Plus I already knew 3 other people so the 'bunch of strangers' doesn't really apply.  So far, everyone seems pretty friendly and it is such a good feeling to have neurons firing in my brain again.  

Scrambled not Fried

My first alteration to habit for the year had two parts.  Normally, I have eggs for breakfast on Mondays.  New Year's Day being a Sunday allowed for a more leisurely breakfast.  Normally, I fry my eggs - less effort required, and the timing fits well with the frothing of the milk for my coffee.  More time allowed scrambling, which I hadn't done for ages (years?).  When time permits, this is a good change.

The Why

I am very much a creature of habit.  More so, perhaps, than most - I score very highly on the Autism Spectrum.  However, in 2010 I said 'Yes' to a challenge and my life changed for the better.  The circumstances of 2011 required me to draw the security blanket of habit closely around me - my resolution to make a new recipe each week was the only attempt to assuage the tedium - and by the end of the year I could tell things were not as brilliant as they could be.  So, here I am trying to make my life better, or at least more varied, by trying to do as many things as I can differently.  They may not all seem big things, they may not all feel like big things, but I hope to stretch the boundaries of my comfort zone and enjoy my life a little more.